Toilet humor is funny everywhere. Though most people claim it is very juvenile and nothing more that “eighth grade humor” it is bound to create laughter whenever and wherever presented, regardless of the age of the listener/viewer.
One thing that is not very humorous is going into a restroom when you have to sit down – for women, this is the usual case, for men, it is probably 25% of the time – and you find little yellow drips all over the seat.
Which guy thought he was that good an aim? Unless you have had many rigorous hours of perfecting you aim with a flaccid hose, you are not going to be able to hit the side of a barn much less the smaller target afforded by the oval interior of the seat.
Yes, I know the small opening in the seat at the front is supposed to alleviate this dysfunction but… see the paragraph preceding about the male’s ability to aim their stream. Invariably, either during the flowing process – especially when one of those pesky, kinky hairs gets caught across the stream’s aperture – or during the “shaking it off” process afterward, there is going to be errant sprays of the yellow fluid going onto the toilet seat.
And what is even funnier about this, I am sure every one of these unhygienic reprobates have needed a clean seat themselves at one point or another and had to dance from foot to foot while wiping up the mess from the seat so they could sit down and conduct their business.
It should seem a simple thing simply to lift the seat.
And here I can already hear the moans of the wounded males bemoaning their fate: if we touch the seat – even if is free from moisture due to a previous users’ failures – we are liable to get the “taint” from the seat (something akin to leprosy from what I’ve heard) onto our hands which, of course, would entail having to wash one’s hands before they conduct their business… You know, as well as afterwards because, as we all know, all men wash their hands before leaving the bathroom. But washing twice is simply wasteful!
Actually, I use a method that does not require cringing in horror or having to wash hands twice: I take a few squares of toilet tissue and raise the seat. Or you could even use the edge of your shoe to raise it – unless you fear of contaminating your shoe before you use it to make your dinner, or something. But after using the toilet paper to hoist the infected petard, you simply drop the paper into the toilet and get about your business.
Returning the seat to its proper position, of course, is optional and would require some very fancy footwork (or another piece of paper).
And, afterwards, you simply wash your hands… right, fellas?
For What It's Worth 