Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Our Obsession with All Things New(er)

April 23, 2018

Recently Updated
(newly revised version today)
[re-updated just now]

 

 

It seems we have an obsession for up-to-the-minute [updated: up-to-the-second] updates on all our tech-gadgets.

Every time I connect to Google docs to edit a document, I get the message that the application is in the dreaded state of “out-of-date” and that condition needs to be corrected before I can continue. So, I have to wait while it “updates”.

The next day, I find the application is once again woefully “out-of-date” and needs to be updated.

Every morning when I turn on my phone, it has downloaded updates and I have to wait a while to give it time to apply all the updates to a half-dozen apps I don’t recall adding and certainly never use.

Thank God I did not have an emergency phone call to make!

We will connect you to 9-1-1 immediately after the updates have been applied…

Wanting to upload pictures from my iPad to my computer is delayed because the device wants to sync with my computer. Yes, even if it synced only twenty minutes before!

What has become of us being in charge of our own lives? Now, it has been relegated to some faraway company deciding their updates are more important than anything we may need or want to do.

But, you know, I get it. I really do!

We feel this primal need to be “on top of things” to be completely current. To somehow not lag behind others… to be on the forefront of that leading wave.

This reminds me of something my daughter used to say all the time: “I’m living for the moment.”

That’s what all these companies and people seem to be doing as well.

But, they’ve got it all wrong. The old saying is NOT live FOR the moment – which is what we are doing so damned well – but living IN the moment.

Which we cannot seem to do because we’re waiting for the updates to download or devices to sync.

 


 

 

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Author ship

November 3, 2012

Some of my friends are telling me I should have published with another company rather than “Martian Publishing” since their main focus is supposedly science fiction.

Hey, it’s not like I had a lot of choice, you know.

And one friend even said I should have put a picture of myself on the back with a little blurb about me. Really? You’re kiddin’ me! I want to drive some sales, not drive the readers away.

And though the sales have not been “tops” for my first venture, If the World’s a Village, I’m It’s Idiot, I have been inspired to pen yet another collection of “brilliant” observations – by some rather bizarre standard, I am sure – in my next book called Who Let Out the Greenhouse Gases? which may not be suitable for human consumption.

Actually, I had started this blog to do a book of the same title (“For What It’s Worth” in case you did not notice) but the focus on that volume stutter-stepped and went wide of the mark. My next option, Nocturnal Breeding Habits of the southern varieties of Drosophilae burritoana in Postmodern Homophobic Societies did not garner enough interest for me to even finish telling people the title, much less showing them the outline.

So, For What It’s Worth will probably wait for awhile as I finish the one on greenhouse gases and the whole Global Warning thing.

After that, since the publisher has such a science-fictiony name, I thought I would write something like “How to Housebreak a Martian” or something really useful like that.

But I will have to wait for responses from my “loyal fan base”.

 

 

<sound of crickets>

 

 

 

Free Book Giveaway

May 4, 2012

Yes, you heard that right. I recently got published (in a digital format) and the publisher wants to do a free book giveaway.

Sounds kind of silly, you know… I mean, I wrote the thing to try and make some money, not just pass them out free on the corner somewhere.

But then, I was never much interested in the marketing angle of publishing. Heck! I haven’t been interested in the marketing side of anything – except maybe avoiding the commercials and advertisements.

Anyway, these guys are doing a “Mother’s Day Giveaway”… as if any mother’s would be interested in my volume If the World’s a Village, I’m Its Idiot. But then you never know.

I mean, my own mother liked it, but I think she’s biased.

Anyway, if you are interested in a free copy of my book, readable in digital format on the computer or most hand-held devices, go to http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/martianpublishing, and view a free sample of the volume or click “buy” and enter the coupon code: EM45F.

It will only be good through Mothers’ Day, so you’ve got a bit over a week to get the thing for free.

If you are interested in one of the other books there (those not by me), I believe there are free coupons for those as well but I don’t have the number codes for them.

Check out the publisher’s blog, A Different View (http://twaynemartn.wordpress.com/), for those.

Either way, I hope you’ll leave a comment on the book but I mainly hope you like it.