A Trumpence For Your Thoughts?

November 7, 2016




Tomorrow’s the big day we have waited most of an eternity for: election day!!

Yes, we can finally put the excruciating anguish behind us int time to compose ourselves and have something, hopefully, to be thankful for as that holiday approaches. Most people seem to just want this painful extraction to be over with.

As an historian, I looked back through the years and – though there have been a few rather nasty campaigns in the past – this one is by far the most bizarre and bewildering event I have ever seen.

We have the outsider who acts as though he is in some reality popularity contest and then the ultimate insider who assumes to have the victory nailed down already… and judging from the treatment Bernie Sanders got, I think Hillary may be right about that. The fix may already be in.

One pundit I heard claimed that Hillary should not be elected for another term as she already ran the Presidency for two terms at the end of the last century – “who do you think ran the country while Bill was busy chasing skirts?” But that is just a minor technicality.

A friend in England – the “old” one across the pond, not the “new” one still nursing the grudge from Deflategate – asked me quite seriously, “Are you telling me that you have three-hundred-million people there and these two clowns are the best you can field?”

My reply, with a straight face, was, “Apparently so.”

The outcome would not be the travesty it certainly appears or the generalized CF it also appears to be were it not for one small, teensy little problem:

The candidate who will be elected will not be voted for.

Yes, you heard that right: the candidate who wins this election will not do so because the majority of the voters want him/her. They will only win because the vast majority of the electorate is voting against the other candidate.

A friend of mine said he was voting for Johnson, the Libertarian. Someone piped up immediately with “A vote for Johnson is a vote for Trump.” I overheard someone else claim “A vote for Johnson is a vote for Hillary.”

No one seems to get it: a vote for Johnson is a vote FOR Johnson. The same for those voting for Stein. The people with the “voting against” mentality cannot conceive of someone actually voting for a candidate because they are better. No, they would rather let evil win, even if it be the lesser of the two.

Yes, there are people who really, really support Hillary, and many who really, really support Trump, but the vast majority this year are voting against someone. When did the system get so broken?

And on Wednesday, two days from now, we can hear the people asking their friends: “So, who did you vote against?”

And that seems to be the only thing of importance this year: being against what you don’t want it the White House.

Imagine what might happen if everyone who really did not want either Hillary or Trump actually voted FOR someone?

Or would that make a little too much sense?



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More Than a Little Confused… as Usual

October 12, 2016



I find it funny that the heads of the Republican Party are now trying to distance themselves from their candidate, Donald Trump. These guys claim the Donald is NOT representative of what Republicans stand for.

Somebody should break the news to these out-of-touch human beings: the majority of Republicans around the country are supporting Trump.

Maybe not so much the Party, but the Republicans certainly support him.

It makes me wonder WHICH Republican Party are these fellows talking about. ‘Cause it is obviously not the same party the people who are voting Republican think it is.

Maybe there is a Lame-o Republican Party who did not field a candidate this election cycle, or perhaps a Good Ol’ Boy Republican Party who didn’t get their guy on the ballot either.

All the Republicans I talk to are fully behind their candidate. That is, unlike the hierarchy of the supposed “Party” of those same people.



I agree with most political analysts about the Republican Party needing to do a little soul searching after this election.

Primarily, they have to figure out if they are going to represent the Republicans around the country or continue trying to represent their own interests and some fantasy populace they have dreamed-up.



The Last Angry Man

July 22, 2016



DATELINE 2201 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

MC: Today I am talking to Jebadiah Horsepunt, a hundred-and-three year-old who is probably the last living supporter of Donald Trump. The election of 2016 was quite an experience according to the history books and we thought we would hear the impressions of someone who actually lived through those turbulent times. Mister Horsepunt:

JH: I know a lot of people have mentioned the anger that attended Trump and his campaign. The RNC leaders kept trying to get him to tone it down but he’d have none of it. He wanted the anger to flow, he wanted people to get mad enough that they’d get off their butts and do something about it.

What most people didn’t notice was that there were other angry people in America too, not just the middle-aged disenfranchised who supported Trump. There were plenty of young people angry as well and they all supported Sanders. Their anger was not as loud as Trump’s supporters nor as virulent but it was there. The angry people were tired of the same old government of usual that had been going on for years. They each approached the problem from different angles but they were both as angry.

When Sanders lost the nomination bid and bowed to Hillary, his supporters become further disenfranchised, disillusioned by party politics.

That’s why Cruz ran in 2020 with the slogan “Make the Republican Party Great Again”, echoing Trump’s slogan from the earlier election.

MC: So you are saying both parties were backed by angry people?

JH: Yep. The only people who were satisfied about the status quo were the Democrats supporting Hillary. But those people had been lulled to sleep by the rhetoric of the previous eight years when no change came to America, as Obama had promised.

Everybody else were awake enough to be mad at what they were seeing, mad at what this country was becoming, mad enough to do something. The vocal angry were for Trump, the quiet angry were for Sanders. And when you have seventy-percent of the electorate being mad about the way things are being run – or not being run, mind you – things are likely to go South.

MC: “Go South”?

JH: Yeah, get a little squirrely.

MC: Uh, and that means…?

JH: Let’s just say everything got a little bit messy for a time.

MC: Thank you, Mister Horsepunt. That has been a small view into the politics back in 2016. I’m not sure if it clears up much for any of you but that’s the take of the fellow that calls himself “the last angry man”. The views and opinions expressed on this show have been those of the speakers and not the views of this corporation, its subsidiaries, or its parent corporations.



Yes, Goodell is THE Man… with a pie-face

July 16, 2016



Roger Goodell has won the long tug-of-war with Tom Brady.

Most people are saying it is the final chapter of Deflategate but this has really stopped being about that comedy some time ago.

Goodell wanted to show that he had the muscles to flex and, like some schoolyard bully, was not going to stop coming after Brady until he got his way. Yes, he has proven that the Collective Bargaining Agreement had indeed given him the power to act so cavalier and petulant.

And the best part: he has insured that he will never get that sort of power again. In the next iteration of the CBA you can be certain he will have blown his wad on this innocuous little trifling matter.

Can anyone say “imbecile”?

That sort of power should have been used for something materially more valuable than swagger and stroking his ego. Exactly what, I don’t know but something bigger than trying to humble the MVP still in the league since the turn of this century.

As a fan, I am no fan of RG. (RG3, yes, RG, no!)

And speaking of RG3, Brady’s first game this coming season will be against the former Redskin.

I’m just sorry I won’t see him in the first four weeks.

Thanks for nothing Roger… go roger yourself in private next time.



Time for a Change, for a Tree Change

May 4, 2016



My wife took up a hobby last year: doll rescue.

Seems a lot of people were distressed over the image of young women being portrayed by new doll lines for young females – like the Bratz dolls.

Some think the dolls were promoting an image of… well, let’s just say it: streetwalkers.

Of course, some people don’t see it that way… to each their own.

What is interesting though is what is happening on the business side of this niche industry. And mostly on the Etsy shopping platform.

One of the most successful promoters in this market is Sonia Singh, and her business called “Tree Change Dolls”. And apparently the success has gone to her litigious bone.

Any vendor on Etsy that uses the word “tree” in their product name is shut down. Same with the word “change”. BAM! Shut down.

One store, Channeling Martha, was closed by Etsy because their keywords included “tree house” and “spare change”… Whoa! Doesn’t that just sing!? Unfortunately, that is dangerously close to “tree change”, isn’t it? (other terms others seem forbidden to use now include “repaint” & “made-under”. Sheesh! What’s next?)

Then there is another store that sold knitting patterns for doll-sweaters. She had been selling these things even before Ms. Singh came along. Apparently, since the late-coming Tree Change dolls wear knitted sweaters – and other sweaters might present something like… you know, competition… so naturally Ms. Singh had that shut down as well.

Perhaps Sonia got her break-out from forcing other shops to bend to her interpretation of the universe although perhaps this attitude only came about after she had achieved success. Perhaps this is the only method of protecting her marketshare she can think of. And it works, most certainly, the Mafia used it quite successfully in the twenties when they were running booze and guns. And if it worked so well back then, why not?

But I’m not exactly sure how long Ms. Singh is going to allow people to keep using her other favorite word: “dolls”.

I should imagine that soon anyone wanting to sell dolls on Etsy will have to use some other identifier meaning “dolls”. What it might be, I don’t know, but I am sure some creative people will… well, get creative.

Meanwhile, Etsy has become the storm-trooping arm of the Tree Change Dictatorship. (Hey, does anyone know if this lady is related to Kim Il Jong? Uh, maybe not.)

I told my wife, next time find a safer hobby, like skeet shooting in Tehran.



Natural Acts, Public Places

March 21, 2016



[an (almost completely) imaginary scene]



An older couple sat eating at the table to our right as we were seated and given menus. We engaged in small talk after making our selections, waiting the waitress’ return.

Meanwhile, to our left, a young mother was given a seat and she propped her baby-carrier on the table. The infant seemed to be content or was sleeping quietly.

Presently, the waitress arrived and took our drink orders. We both took water.

On our left, the infant began to make some noise. The mother stood, unstrapped the baby, and sat again. Then proceeded to open her blouse, drop a cup, and begin to feed her child.

To our right, I heard a gagging noise. I turned to see the old fellow was having a hard time swallowing something. Before I could rise and offer the Heimlich, he had regained control of his faculties. He signaled the waitress over.

I thought perhaps he was going to order a large glass of water but what he asked for instead was a request that the young woman should be removed from the restaurant, either to a restroom or a private area not in full public view.

The manager got involved and she told the old fellow that she saw nothing wrong with the public display.

“It is a completely natural function, you know.”

After a moment of working his jaw, the old fellow nodded. “In that case, my dear, would you please bring me a chamber pot.”

My wife and I departed even before the water arrived. Or the chamber pot.

Nor did we know if he ordered toilet paper on the side.

Some natural functions are meant to be private.





A Weight Watching Clusterf- oops!

December 28, 2015

 

 

 

My wife has been in Weight Watchers for many years (doing quite nicely, thanks) and recently learned of the new program WW has rolled out.

 

There have been a few complaints about the new points structure and the removal of the activity points as well as reduction bonus points for the week.

 

Most egregious of all is the favorites (products, recipes, and such) each member kept on the Weight Watchers website to aid in tracking their points have been summarily erased.

 

Yes, it would seem that each person has to re-enter ALL that data again!!

 

But the problem really isn’t that great for many… really! Quite a lot of people have simply exited the program. Hey, how easy was that, huh?

 

WW isn’t too worried, however, because they know the people will be back. Yes, they’ll come crawling back and take the inexorable amount of time to re-input all their favorites, recipes, and so forth.

 

And the best part – at lest for the company – is that the stress all this has caused will create… you guessed it: weight gain!!!

 

Stress is probably the single-most major contributor to weight GAIN and Weight-Watchers has added this vital tool to their arsenal of prolonging memberships.

 

Man! The guys over in marketing are probably getting great big, FAT bonuses this year.

 

You bet!

Another Reason to Avoid Kentucky

September 2, 2015





Rowan County Clerk, Kim Davis, still refuses to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples despite losing two court battles to uphold her position.

She even called the local sheriff’s office to have the malcontents removed from her office after they said they would not leave without a license.

Yes, you heard that right: in Kentucky the Sheriff uses his force to uphold law-breakers.

The author of the article I read said the woman cannot be fired because she was elected.

Hmmm… Most elected officials I have seen have to take an oath on taking office to uphold the laws of the state and the nation in the conduct of their duty. Since she is obviously in violation of her “sacred” oath, her removal from office should be a no-brainer.

The clerk’s husband, Joe Davis, said she has received death threats but remains committed to her faith and is “standing for God.”

Joe Davis said he believes in the Second Amendment and is not afraid: “I’m an old redneck hillbilly, that’s all I’ve got to say. Don’t come knocking on my door.”

He pointed to the gay rights protesters and said: “They want us to accept their beliefs and their ways. But they won’t accept our beliefs and our ways.”

By “our ways”, I assume him to mean “whatever else they decide to uphold whether or not it runs counter to the laws of Kentucky and the United States.”

Anyone – except I suppose for one who is “an old redneck hillbilly” – would see this has nothing to do with “accepting their beliefs” but rather following the laws of this great nation as they have been entrusted rather than follow the opinions of some random opinion maker handed down from a pulpit somewhere.

When asked to show where in the Bible it is that God forbids same-sex marriages, these people are at a general loss. You see, it’s more of a generalized religious opinion than any hard-and-fast laws… you know, like the laws of the nation they are violating.

I wonder if someone coming in for a license to marry multiple women would find an easier course in Rowan County. All they would have to do is point out all the people in the Bible who had multiple wives.

I’m sure that would suit Ms. Davis and her trigger-happy hubby just fine.

God Bless America!

(But I will avoid that state on any future travels. Having a law enforcement agency that supports the law-breakers and having elected officials using personal beliefs rather than national laws…

Hey, is that banjo music I hear coming through the trees?

I’m outta here!)





Tebow Still Flying in Philly

September 1, 2015

(Seems I am taking the whole Monday-morning-quarterback thing to extremes. Except that it is Tuesday.)

As much fodder as the Redskins have given the pundits in the off-season, there is one story that has gotten even more attention: the never-ending (or rather, near-to-ending) saga of Deflategate, a situation created out of thin air (pun intended).

But I won’t address that on-going legal circus as I want to talk about the third-favorite item of the off-season: Tebow’s journey to become a player in the NFL… again.

I have watched all the preseason games for the Eagles and can see some good stuff going on there. As usual, Chip Kelly offenses just keep on chugging along, and quickly.

Having four QBs fighting for roster spots seems a bit of a stretch for most teams but Kelly is not your typical coach. Not even in the same ballpark.

Bradford has the #1 spot sewn up and he looks sharp. About what you’d expect for a guy who has been the starter for another team for several years now. Sanchez is adequate as a backup, I suppose, but he didn’t especially wow me. But then, I’ve watched him in other seasons before and he looks really good in preseason but tanks in real time.

And that brings us to the two fellows battling for the highly coveted 3rd string QB position. Barkley has a bunch of supporters and they make a pretty good case. We will have to wait and see what Kelly’s choice will be.

As good as many have claimed Barkley to be – sometimes even looking better than Sanchez – at other times, Tebow has looked better. Yes, Barkley (and Sanchez) have had quite a few of their throws miss the intended receivers by a wide margin.

In the passing category, it is obvious Bradford is the standout favorite.

But this isn’t just any other team in the NFL, this is Kelly’s team. One of the often used plays in their arsenal is the option play – where the QB turns to give the ball to the running back and can decide to keep it and run with it himself if the defense looks good for him to do so.

I am sure Kelly has that play in his repertoire because he wants the QBs to run on occasion. From what I have seen in the three preseason games thus far, only one QB playing for the Eagles actually uses the play. Bradford, Sanchez, and Barkley simply hand the ball off and take a couple of steps like they actually had the ball, or something.

The defenses weren’t fooled. They keyed on the runner and took him down.

The only QB for whom that play was successful was Tebow because, you know, he actually thinks of that play as an “option”… not just a chance to hand off the football.

I’m not saying those other guys are above anything like trying to actually run with the ball but… Hey, Bradford’s had injury issues, y’know, and Sanchez is… well, Sanchez, and Barkley… who knows?

Hopefully, looking at the situation in this light might make Kelly’s choice a little easier.

(Not that anyone’s listening to me, of course!)





Lies, Stabs, and Videotape

September 1, 2015

I have spoken previously of Gruden’s rather transparency – actions speak so much louder than words – and the shenanigans at Redskins Park continuing even after the Shanahanigans have gone.

A couple of weeks ago, RG3 made headlines with his quote about being the best quarterback in football.

The news mavens were all over that statement like white on rice. Many ran with it while others, more circumspect, did not take it out of the context in which it was said but complained about Robert not learning how to talk to reporters and allow such misquoting to go on. It’s Robert’s fault for all the scorn heaped on him, they claimed.

Seems like the fellow is damned if he don’t, huh? If he didn’t talk to the press they’d have a field day over that as well, claiming he was a prima dona or a Marshawn Lynch. If he speaks with a positive spin, they chide him for that. The guy can’t win.

What’s really funny, when I read the full quote, I was struck by a phrase he used a little earlier in the statement: about all the back-stabbing that goes on in the business.

A really sharp reporter – and there seem to be so few of them covering sports – would have followed up on that comment.

No one did.

Now, it seems a little too obvious what he meant.

This morning we were greeted with the news about yet “another RG3 misstep”, supposedly. An instagram by one xtramambosauce, ranting about the antics of the owner and coaches in this situation and placing the blame entirely on them. One of the persons who “liked” the post was RG3.

Very quickly the “like” was removed and RG3 had to explain that it was a media intern who had liked it, not himself.

Now why would a media intern working for the Redskins organization go out of his way to like a post knocking the owner… you know, biting the hand that feeds him?

Unless, or course, someone like the coach ordered him to do so…

Griffin did mention something about “backstabbing”.

After reading the rant, I thought why would this fellow include Snyder as one of the RG3 haters – wasn’t he the one supposedly in the QBs corner against the coach?

Then I recalled the amazement with which Gruden’s hiring was met over a year ago. Why would Snyder hire a man who was not “hooked on” Griffin if the man was slated to be the QB for the future?

It didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Now it does.

Backstabbing.

It seems what we know coming out of the organization is nothing more than spin. It certainly does make trying to understand what’s going on a little more difficult.

Seems everyone is just lying.

Oh, and backstabbing.