Archive for the ‘entertainment’ Category

Trolling the Polls…

July 17, 2020

… or were they polling the trolls?

Recent polls have come out to show the President has taken a beating lately.

But his numbers look positively rosy compared to those garnered by our Congress.

Phew! Yes, they are a little bit south of stinky, if you know what I mean.

About 80 percent of the population wants to see they ALL sent packing.

I don’t feel a lotta love for those guys.

But what – really – does this mean?

Nothing, of course.

Before the last Congressional elections, over 70 percent were polled wanting to oust ALL of Congress.

Only 6% of the population put their money where their mouth was.

Yes, all the maligned, much hated, malingerers were returned to their lofty places by that same disillusioned electorate.

Seems they speak their minds to the pollster but “fall into line” when they enter the election booth.

Perhaps it is fear of change. And that fear is too much. Better, they must think, to continue with the evil already known than to bring in some new devils as yet untested, untried.

And, in a couple of years, the approval numbers will sink even further.

Congress is nothing more than a reflection of us and the picture I see is a little grim.

Until we grow some cojones big enough we will be saddled with the same mediocre leadership.



Why not really shake things up this next election and vote for candidates who do not have the little [R] or [D] next to their names?

If we voted exclusively for those with [I] or [L] can you imagine what a fundamentally different government we would see?



But we won’t know if we continue to be too afraid to make that first, major, step.



the Future of Now

July 17, 2018

clock

Over a decade ago…

I told my son, who was fiddling with making goofy YouTubes with his friend, that he should make a series of them and put them up but also make a different series as well, and a third.

In other words, rather than just make a YouTube channel, he could create a Network. Monetized, of course.

And from the proceeds of this small enterprise, he could then begin doing better quality, longer videos with more structured content… Just like a real broadcast network.

His response was predictable: “That’s ridiculous. That couldn’t happen.”

It was a simple concept and I was certain other people were thinking along those same lines and it has now become a reality for many.

The key to the success of these endeavors is, of course, advertising. People pay you to do what you like.

Let that sink in a moment.

Given that the advertising revenue is what drives such things, I was not in the least surprised when ads began to be run at the beginning of most videos OR, as is done quite often now, in the middle of the video.

Now, the vendors “help” us by offering to pay for no-advertising versions of their service and a great many people take advantage of this.

So, where am I going with this?

Extrapolation shows us that very soon we will see more of this bothersome practice creeping in to other area of our socialization.

Such as in streams of text messages.

You’ll be texting with your romantic partner when a text bubble pops up about dinner at Appleby’s or some such. No, it won’t be your partner, but you might both think it is. Perhaps not subliminal but effective.

Later, you’ll be given the option of paying a fee to have the ads removed.

And then, of course, the pièce de résistance: ads in the middle of your SPOKEN conversations.

The only danger inherent in this sort of advertising is, of course, when it occurs in the middle of an emergency call.

“Hello, 911? We need a…”

“Have you seen the new fall fashions at Macy’s? Check it out at…”

(Actually, I doubt they would allow it on 911 calls, but you never know.)

And, of course, you can pay them to remove the advertising…

Many would think the advertisers will never go to these extremes but you have to remember, companies HAVE TO ADVERTISE!

And if people are paying to not see ads anywhere, the advertisers will have to find new venues for their ads.

Because it is vitally imperative that you know about their product!! (At least in their minds.)

So no matter where and when you pay to have the ads removed…

They will reappear somewhere else.

Like at the movie theater or one the DVDs and music CDs you buy. (Yeah, old news, I know.)

Or on your favorite Sports Venue…

And next?

How about naming rights for the public schools since education can always use a few more dollars?

And you can proudly claim your son graduated from Grover Cleveland Microsoft High and will be attending Stanford McDonald-Douglas.

Oh, yeah.

It’s coming.

Our Obsession with All Things New(er)

April 23, 2018

Recently Updated
(newly revised version today)
[re-updated just now]

 

 

It seems we have an obsession for up-to-the-minute [updated: up-to-the-second] updates on all our tech-gadgets.

Every time I connect to Google docs to edit a document, I get the message that the application is in the dreaded state of “out-of-date” and that condition needs to be corrected before I can continue. So, I have to wait while it “updates”.

The next day, I find the application is once again woefully “out-of-date” and needs to be updated.

Every morning when I turn on my phone, it has downloaded updates and I have to wait a while to give it time to apply all the updates to a half-dozen apps I don’t recall adding and certainly never use.

Thank God I did not have an emergency phone call to make!

We will connect you to 9-1-1 immediately after the updates have been applied…

Wanting to upload pictures from my iPad to my computer is delayed because the device wants to sync with my computer. Yes, even if it synced only twenty minutes before!

What has become of us being in charge of our own lives? Now, it has been relegated to some faraway company deciding their updates are more important than anything we may need or want to do.

But, you know, I get it. I really do!

We feel this primal need to be “on top of things” to be completely current. To somehow not lag behind others… to be on the forefront of that leading wave.

This reminds me of something my daughter used to say all the time: “I’m living for the moment.”

That’s what all these companies and people seem to be doing as well.

But, they’ve got it all wrong. The old saying is NOT live FOR the moment – which is what we are doing so damned well – but living IN the moment.

Which we cannot seem to do because we’re waiting for the updates to download or devices to sync.

 


 

 

Losing Touch with Reality

July 21, 2017

The latest leakage to come out of the bowels of the NSA (our dear, dear friends, lest we forget!) was by the hand of Reality Leigh Winner… there have been no statements from her brother, Sweepstakes.

A friend of mine said the girl has the wrong name. Reality Winner should probably be called Delusional Loser. I think that’s a bit harsh, though.

If the young woman is convicted of the leakage of the document, she will serve a couple of years, probably, unless she plans either a sex-change or throwing herself on the mercy of the President.

If convicted and locked away, nothing will really have changed.

The NSA has been out of touch with Reality, apparently, for some time now.

And they really don’t seem to care.

Maybe She Shoulda Got a Lawyer BEFORE…

June 9, 2017

Lisa Bloom, lawyer for Kathy Griffin, said she is being bullied for speaking out against Trump.

She seems to think that this is just a sample of what comes to anyone who speaks out against Trump.

I think Ms. Bloom should get back in contact with reality because thousands upon thousands of people have been “speaking out against Trump” for months without getting pushed back on.

If those people had also beheaded Trumped in proxy, they should have found themselves in the same boat.

Trump is not having her bullied by the Secret Service, this is S O P for the Secret Service when someone makes threats – by whatever form – against the life of the President. ANY President.

Perhaps Ms Bloom should ask someone with a little knowledge of law before she mouths off. Even a lawyer, it seems, is at times in need of some good legal advice.

Yes, Goodell is THE Man… with a pie-face

July 16, 2016



Roger Goodell has won the long tug-of-war with Tom Brady.

Most people are saying it is the final chapter of Deflategate but this has really stopped being about that comedy some time ago.

Goodell wanted to show that he had the muscles to flex and, like some schoolyard bully, was not going to stop coming after Brady until he got his way. Yes, he has proven that the Collective Bargaining Agreement had indeed given him the power to act so cavalier and petulant.

And the best part: he has insured that he will never get that sort of power again. In the next iteration of the CBA you can be certain he will have blown his wad on this innocuous little trifling matter.

Can anyone say “imbecile”?

That sort of power should have been used for something materially more valuable than swagger and stroking his ego. Exactly what, I don’t know but something bigger than trying to humble the MVP still in the league since the turn of this century.

As a fan, I am no fan of RG. (RG3, yes, RG, no!)

And speaking of RG3, Brady’s first game this coming season will be against the former Redskin.

I’m just sorry I won’t see him in the first four weeks.

Thanks for nothing Roger… go roger yourself in private next time.



Best Reality Show in Years

April 1, 2016

I have to hand it to The Donald, whoever came up with this newest showcase for his talent is a definite winner.

Imagine: Running for the Presidency! What a divine concept for a reality series. And it’s an audience participation show as well. We all can get involved.

I know there are some detractors who think the candidates should act… well, a little more “presidential” but don’t they know that won’t sell the advertisers’ products?

Tuning into the debate episodes anyone can find something to like: comedy, drama, mystery, and a boatload of sexual innuendo. This script has everything!!

I don’t know if they are continue it through the election and beyond but it has certainly been a riot so far.

I am already thinking of the Emmy going to Trump in the next award season. This guy is the tops and his current role makes his “You’re fired!” pale by comparison.

But I am just not completely certain there is a category for this stuff. Maybe they’ll make one up…

When it comes time to name the running mate, I hope he goes for Bozo the Clown.

Now, wouldn’t that be an awesomely entertaining ticket?

Natural Acts, Public Places

March 21, 2016



[an (almost completely) imaginary scene]



An older couple sat eating at the table to our right as we were seated and given menus. We engaged in small talk after making our selections, waiting the waitress’ return.

Meanwhile, to our left, a young mother was given a seat and she propped her baby-carrier on the table. The infant seemed to be content or was sleeping quietly.

Presently, the waitress arrived and took our drink orders. We both took water.

On our left, the infant began to make some noise. The mother stood, unstrapped the baby, and sat again. Then proceeded to open her blouse, drop a cup, and begin to feed her child.

To our right, I heard a gagging noise. I turned to see the old fellow was having a hard time swallowing something. Before I could rise and offer the Heimlich, he had regained control of his faculties. He signaled the waitress over.

I thought perhaps he was going to order a large glass of water but what he asked for instead was a request that the young woman should be removed from the restaurant, either to a restroom or a private area not in full public view.

The manager got involved and she told the old fellow that she saw nothing wrong with the public display.

“It is a completely natural function, you know.”

After a moment of working his jaw, the old fellow nodded. “In that case, my dear, would you please bring me a chamber pot.”

My wife and I departed even before the water arrived. Or the chamber pot.

Nor did we know if he ordered toilet paper on the side.

Some natural functions are meant to be private.





Tebow Still Flying in Philly

September 1, 2015

(Seems I am taking the whole Monday-morning-quarterback thing to extremes. Except that it is Tuesday.)

As much fodder as the Redskins have given the pundits in the off-season, there is one story that has gotten even more attention: the never-ending (or rather, near-to-ending) saga of Deflategate, a situation created out of thin air (pun intended).

But I won’t address that on-going legal circus as I want to talk about the third-favorite item of the off-season: Tebow’s journey to become a player in the NFL… again.

I have watched all the preseason games for the Eagles and can see some good stuff going on there. As usual, Chip Kelly offenses just keep on chugging along, and quickly.

Having four QBs fighting for roster spots seems a bit of a stretch for most teams but Kelly is not your typical coach. Not even in the same ballpark.

Bradford has the #1 spot sewn up and he looks sharp. About what you’d expect for a guy who has been the starter for another team for several years now. Sanchez is adequate as a backup, I suppose, but he didn’t especially wow me. But then, I’ve watched him in other seasons before and he looks really good in preseason but tanks in real time.

And that brings us to the two fellows battling for the highly coveted 3rd string QB position. Barkley has a bunch of supporters and they make a pretty good case. We will have to wait and see what Kelly’s choice will be.

As good as many have claimed Barkley to be – sometimes even looking better than Sanchez – at other times, Tebow has looked better. Yes, Barkley (and Sanchez) have had quite a few of their throws miss the intended receivers by a wide margin.

In the passing category, it is obvious Bradford is the standout favorite.

But this isn’t just any other team in the NFL, this is Kelly’s team. One of the often used plays in their arsenal is the option play – where the QB turns to give the ball to the running back and can decide to keep it and run with it himself if the defense looks good for him to do so.

I am sure Kelly has that play in his repertoire because he wants the QBs to run on occasion. From what I have seen in the three preseason games thus far, only one QB playing for the Eagles actually uses the play. Bradford, Sanchez, and Barkley simply hand the ball off and take a couple of steps like they actually had the ball, or something.

The defenses weren’t fooled. They keyed on the runner and took him down.

The only QB for whom that play was successful was Tebow because, you know, he actually thinks of that play as an “option”… not just a chance to hand off the football.

I’m not saying those other guys are above anything like trying to actually run with the ball but… Hey, Bradford’s had injury issues, y’know, and Sanchez is… well, Sanchez, and Barkley… who knows?

Hopefully, looking at the situation in this light might make Kelly’s choice a little easier.

(Not that anyone’s listening to me, of course!)





Lies, Stabs, and Videotape

September 1, 2015

I have spoken previously of Gruden’s rather transparency – actions speak so much louder than words – and the shenanigans at Redskins Park continuing even after the Shanahanigans have gone.

A couple of weeks ago, RG3 made headlines with his quote about being the best quarterback in football.

The news mavens were all over that statement like white on rice. Many ran with it while others, more circumspect, did not take it out of the context in which it was said but complained about Robert not learning how to talk to reporters and allow such misquoting to go on. It’s Robert’s fault for all the scorn heaped on him, they claimed.

Seems like the fellow is damned if he don’t, huh? If he didn’t talk to the press they’d have a field day over that as well, claiming he was a prima dona or a Marshawn Lynch. If he speaks with a positive spin, they chide him for that. The guy can’t win.

What’s really funny, when I read the full quote, I was struck by a phrase he used a little earlier in the statement: about all the back-stabbing that goes on in the business.

A really sharp reporter – and there seem to be so few of them covering sports – would have followed up on that comment.

No one did.

Now, it seems a little too obvious what he meant.

This morning we were greeted with the news about yet “another RG3 misstep”, supposedly. An instagram by one xtramambosauce, ranting about the antics of the owner and coaches in this situation and placing the blame entirely on them. One of the persons who “liked” the post was RG3.

Very quickly the “like” was removed and RG3 had to explain that it was a media intern who had liked it, not himself.

Now why would a media intern working for the Redskins organization go out of his way to like a post knocking the owner… you know, biting the hand that feeds him?

Unless, or course, someone like the coach ordered him to do so…

Griffin did mention something about “backstabbing”.

After reading the rant, I thought why would this fellow include Snyder as one of the RG3 haters – wasn’t he the one supposedly in the QBs corner against the coach?

Then I recalled the amazement with which Gruden’s hiring was met over a year ago. Why would Snyder hire a man who was not “hooked on” Griffin if the man was slated to be the QB for the future?

It didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Now it does.

Backstabbing.

It seems what we know coming out of the organization is nothing more than spin. It certainly does make trying to understand what’s going on a little more difficult.

Seems everyone is just lying.

Oh, and backstabbing.